Billy Calahan's thoughts on life.

"Lads! You have to get out in the streets, you have to talk to a stranger. Drink a beer with breakfast! Take the ugliest girl home at the party! You never know what life would put in your lap when you open your arms and embrace it!"

 

Ah Scrubs the early years.  It was a fun show with moments of super nova bright insightfulness.  For some reason Colin Farrell's character's advice really stayed with me.  It wasn't just his words it was the way this character lived. Everyone thought he was at the hospital because his brother was in a coma.  Turns out that it wasn't his brother, it was a man he met at a bar.  They got into a fight and was responsible for putting the guy into the coma, but he was also responsible for bringing the guy to the hospital.

Someone who'd do that strikes me as a very vibrant life embracing person.  It is not easy to live that type of life.  I don't think I could manage it.  At least not everyday.  There are moments that I shine.  It takes a lot of guts, and it hurts more at the beginning and there are no guarantees.  But life is not about surviving without scars.  It's about collecting them, because with the scars come the stories

The Sunscreen Song

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Baz Luhrman - Sunscreen Speech
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Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97...Wear sunscreen


If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh never mind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you cant grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...You're not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind...the race is long, and in the end its only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life...the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you wont, maybe you'll have children, maybe you wont, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...what ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can...don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, its the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you'll never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time its 40, it will look 85.

Be careful who's advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

You remember "The Sunscreen Song" don't you?  It's chock-full of life advice.  So far I'm doing good on the calcium.  Need to work on the other stuff.  I pulled the lyrics from here.

To Breathe Both Hot and Cold

I pulled this fable from Aesop Fables Online.  Ignore the moral at the end.  It's incorrect.  I'll give you the real lesson you should learn from this fable.

But before we get to that:

A long time ago a Man met a Satyr in the forest and succeeded in making friends with him. The two soon became the best of comrades, living together in the Man's hut. But one cold winter evening, as they were walking homeward, the Satyr saw the Man blow on his fingers.

"Why do you do that?" asked the Satyr.

"To warm my hands," the Man replied.

When they reached home the Man prepared two bowls of porridge. These he placed steaming hot on the table, and the comrades sat down very cheerfully to enjoy the meal. But much to the Satyr's surprise, the Man began to blow into his bowl of porridge.

"Why do you do that?" he asked.

"To cool my porridge," replied the Man.

The Satyr sprang hurriedly to his feet and made for the door.

"Goodbye," he said, "I've seen enough. A fellow that blows hot and cold in the same breath cannot be friends with me!"

Moral lesson: The man who talks for both sides is not to be trusted by either.

WRONG!  Sorry Aesop, but if Disney taught me anything it is that you were killed because your fables and their morals upset people.  If people are willing to kill you there must be because you got them wrong, right?  Er, well... probably.  So, back to my declaration of wrongness.

The Moral of the Story: To Be Inconsistent Is To Be Human.

Everyone breathes both hot and cold in the same breath.  That trait, along with opposable thumbs, large craniums, the ability to make and use tools, and murder*, is what makes us human.  Among other things.

(*see Battlestar Galactica, and the Book of Genesis in the Bible for that matter.)

Case in point.  I refuse to use the automated doors at Target.  I go to great lengths to use the manual apparatuses.  So when I insist on using elevators and escalators instead of stairs my friends balk and call me duplicitous.

People can't seem to accept what they see as contradictions in their fellow man.  But doing things that don't make sense is what makes us what we are.  Beautiful, special, and lovably irritating.

Our inconsistencies, our idiosyncrasies, our non sequiturs.  That which does not follow.  All of it makes us into something more than just Satyrs.  And in the end is that not what life is all about?